In our society most people are identified by their work. For us men it is rare that our position or title will not come up in a conversation. For many years I worked in the insurance industry. I loved my job, the company I worked for and had what I would have called a bright future. I felt like I worked hard, was very loyal and had the privilege to work with some great people. But… It was what I did to earn a living… It was not who I was.

The particular employer I worked for happened to be one of the most recognizable companies in the world and it seemed that everyone I met had had some sort of experience with it. Also, simply being in the insurance industry made it rare for me to walk away from any conversation that did not involve someone sharing their own personal horror story or hatred for the whole industry. Because of these types of encounters I quickly built a defense mechanism that would have me at some point throw out the words, “That is just what I do for a living… It’s not who I am.”

Since going to work for NewSpring Church back on April 1, 2005, I have learned many things. The worlds of ministry and production have proven to be a great challenge and incredible thrill. Rarely does a day go by where I don’t learn something new or face a challenge I had never faced before. I love it and pray that God allows me to do this until the day that I die.

Since the move I have found that most conversations still eventually track toward me talking about my position or title. Also consistent with my time in the market place, most conversations end up with me hearing what people think about my church because in our town most have had some interaction with or have formed an opinion of NewSpring. Being in ministry, I find that also get the privilege of listening to some horror story or disappointment that someone has experienced because of some church somewhere.

But here’s what’s different for me… I can no longer say, “That is just what I do for a living… It’s not who I am.”

Why? Because the church (both mine and the “C”hurch) is a physical representation of Jesus. The church is supposed to be to the world what Jesus is to the world. As a follower of Jesus, I am supposed to walk as He did and be a living representation of who Jesus is. Working as a pastor in a church means that “This is what I do for a living… AND it IS who I am.”

Where I could easily slough off tough conversations about the ills of the insurance industry, I simply can’t do that about the church. Unfortunately, too many churches have soured people on Jesus. I’m afraid that is the reason many people who work in ministry have grown weary of hearing about what the world thinks about the church and have simply taken on my old line, “This is just what I do for living… It’s not who I am.”

For those of us in ministry we need to be quick to realize that what we do is who we are. If you can’t say that with great passion and conviction, then it would be my guess that you are in fact working a job and not following a calling. Please do yourself, your church and the Church a huge favor and quit. In ministry one’s vocation must be his passion. I will go out on a limb here and say that the reason who Jesus is and what the church has become are so different, is due to too many people in ministry living out this statement (whether they actually say it or not), “This is just what I do for a living… It’s not who I am.”

Anyone who works in ministry will testify to the fact that the physical work required by ministry is tough, but is only a part of the call. The toughest part of ministry is the emotional and spiritual toll it places on the ones who workout that calling. If that is true, then the primary burden placed on one who leads those who are in ministry is to protect their souls.

As one of those leaders, I want to make sure that I look at my responsibilities very carefully. I know that the physical burden of ministry will always exist. I know that there will always be work to do that will require time and effort beyond the norm. I’m ok with that because ministry is a gift that should be cherished and worked at diligently. As the leader, then, I want to make sure that I don’t lead in a way that will increase the spiritual and emotional burden my team already feels.

I consider my role in ministry as that of a shepherd. I do not believe I have earned the position, I believe God called me into it and just as David was called from tending sheep to leading God’s people. Anyone in ministry leadership has been given the position by God and given the same charge the Lord gave David… to be a skilled shepherd with integrity of heart.

Psalm 78: 70-72
He chose David his servant and took him from the sheep pens; from tending the sheep he brought him to be the shepherd of his people Jacob, of Israel his inheritance. And David shepherded them with integrity of heart; with skillful hands he led them.

In my current role I lead a team of artists and because artists are wired up and gifted very differently than most other people, I have been asked many times what strategy I employ to lead to them. I have a few cute leadership formulas that can rattle off, but in reality I have one strategy… I invest in their soul. Over the last couple of years I have become convinced there really isn’t a list or formula for leading artists…. or anyone else, for that matter, who work in ministry. I’m to be a skilled shepherd with integrity of heart and I believe my primary focus has to be the shepherding of the soul of the ones I lead. (By the way, artists are really no different than anyone else in ministry they just have heightened sensitivity to their surroundings and that freaks some leaders out.)

I believe that is what Paul was to Timothy. He certainly gave Timothy direction on how to physically carry out his ministry role, but Paul also focused on Timothy’s soul. Paul understood that the call into ministry came with great hardships that required the one called to make good use of their time. But I believe Paul’s exhortation of Timothy was as much on keeping Timothy’s soul focused on the Lord as it was on what to do… the reason behind the doing.

As Paul starts out in his instructions to Timothy on what to do in ministry, he encourages him first to “hold on to a faith and good conscience”.

1 Timothy 1: 18-19
Timothy, my son, I give you this instruction in keeping with the prophecies once made about you, so that by following them you may fight the good fight, holding on to faith and a good conscience. Some have rejected these and so have shipwrecked their faith.

Then as his second letter to Timothy begins its obvious that the ministry is taking a toll on Timothy. So, Paul shows empathy and then focuses on Timothy’s soul before he focuses on the duties of Timothy’s ministry.

2 Timothy 1: 3-14
I thank God, whom I serve, as my forefathers did, with a clear conscience, as night and day I constantly remember you in my prayers. Recalling your tears…I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.

So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or ashamed of me his prisoner. But join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God, who has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time, but it has now been revealed through the appearing of our Savior, Christ Jesus, who has destroyed death and has brought life and immortality to light through the gospel. And of this gospel I was appointed a herald and an apostle and a teacher. That is why I am suffering as I am. Yet I am not ashamed, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day.

What you heard from me, keep as the pattern of sound teaching, with faith and love in Christ Jesus. Guard the good deposit that was entrusted to you—guard it with the help of the Holy Spirit who lives in us.

Paul goes on to encourage Timothy in 2 Timothy 4:5 to “discharge all the duties of your ministry”. So the investment into Timothy’s soul was to equip and encourage him to discharge the duties of his ministry. You can have a ministry that is based on duty or you can have one that is based on an overflow of the heart… as a leader, I suggest that if I invest in the soul of the ones I lead, the “duties” will flow out of them. Whereas if I invest solely (pun intended) in the duties, in the end, pride or discouragement will win and no worthy and lasting ministry duties will be discharged.

Psalm 51:10
Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Why do we do what we do? What moves us to act or speak or even think in a certain way? Only two people really know the answer to that question… ourselves and God. Right actions do not necessarily mean a right heart. We can manipulate our actions so that others see what we want them to see, but God sees our heart… our true motivations… and that is who we really are.

Proverbs 27:19
As water reflects a face, so a man’s heart reflects the man.

As I wrestle with my own heart I have been asking myself these questions.

Do I…

pray with confidence or wishful thinking?

read the bible with expectation or so I can tell someone what I read?

seek to learn or want to teach?

serve those I lead or expect them to serve me?

live like one who’s been forgiven or like one who is entitled?

exhibit humility or pride?

long to be broken or pretend to be whole?

love others or just want their attention?

say God is in control but act and react as if He isn’t?

give to gain favor with man or out of gratitude to God?

long for true wisdom or just want to have more knowledge?

live in excited anticipation of Jesus’ return or hope he waits a little longer?

seek recognition or God’s glory?

Somewhere in the mystery of God’s providence our effort to have a right heart must be met by His granting us that ability.

Psalm 86:10-12
For you are great and do marvelous deeds; you alone are God. Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever.

If our heart could be opened up and inside we could actually see a physical representation of all that is in it… what would we find at the center? What would occupy the most space? Would we find Jesus there or would we have to move a lot of other stuff or people out of the way to then find him shoved into a small corner? Only we… and God… know the answer to that question.