Confrontation

Leadership Demands Confrontation

There are a lot of things that a leader can avoid or not be good at and still be able to lead effectively. Confrontation is not one of those things. Confrontation is essential to good leadership.

If the person leading you isn’t confronting you about something, then you’re not being led well.

If you are not confronting the people you lead on a regular basis, then you are not really leading.

A leader challenges. A leader challenges the process AND the people. He or she has to do that. We all are inclined to drift off course or become complacent and we NEED someone to confront us and place us back on course. Every process can be refined and every person is in need of being refined… This never ends.

When confrontation ends so does growth and so does effectiveness.

Too many people I encounter who have leadership roles (or just call themselves leaders) are afraid to confront issues with their people or a process. Why?

The reason is that it is a difficult thing to do. Pride gets in our way. You may be viewed as overbearing or unappreciative. You may not be liked or even avoided. Because we can’t control how someone will respond to our confronting them, we sometimes avoid the issue altogether. When handled properly… fully exercising the fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23)… the exact opposite happens. When handled in the right way, confronting is seen and received as caring. Maybe not initially, but eventually.

Those who don’t care don’t confront.

See if this rings true to you… If there is an issue that you know needs to be confronted and it isn’t, how often does the one not confronting end up talking ABOUT the person or situation that needs to be challenged instead of TO the person or persons that need to be confronted? My experience is that it happens about 100% of the time. If I’m not mistaken, talking ABOUT someone instead of TO someone is called gossip… or more clearly, sin. (God considers gossip a pretty big deal here but provides us a method to deal with it here.)

When a supposed leader does this I believe the sin is magnified exponentially. Leaders can’t be gossips about the people they lead and really be a leader. A true leader is passionate about his people which means he/she cares about them which means they confront them when it is needed. Unfortunately, it seems that many “leader’s” pride and lack of fortitude prevents them from carrying out the ministry of confrontation. I see this in both the market place and in ministry.

If you follow Jesus then you follow a leader that confronted. Almost his whole human existence was a love filled and mercy laden confrontation… all the way to the point where he confronted our sin problem on the cross.

When in doubt about if it is time to confront… err on the side of confronting. The only down side is that any communication gap that caused the doubt will be resolved. It is time for leaders to quit gossiping about their people, sack up, leave their pride behind and lovingly confront.